What to do?

So, it's been 3 days since Travis left for his trip, and I haven't typed in any of the stories that I promised to update. I'm such a horrible person! Well, it's not like I'm not wanting to type, I actually just started this post so I can type something! I want to type, but I don't know what to type about. Yesterday I stared at the computer screen for 10 minutes, going back and forth between the half done Lucy/Erza fic, and the not yet started Natsu/Gray fic...

See, this is why I hate writing chapter stories! I mean, I used to love it, but that was back when I could pull any plot out of my ass and make it into a 10 chapter story. I can't do that now, and it's rather depressing. I start school at the end of May, so I won't be able to type at all, and I will restrain myself, and that makes me even more depressed. It was all because of my over-imaginative mind that I failed in school to begin with!

Instead of paying attention in class, I wrote. I gave birth to Anya and Carson, Gore! Gore, my lovely bad man. I seriously had a crush on him as I developed his personality. Even the part where he fell in love with his granddaughter! In his defense, he didn't look like he was a grampa, and he got together with her in the first place so she could take him to Anya so he could put a spell on her and turn her young and beautiful again so they could finally be together again!

So what if he was bad? Everything he did, he did for the sake of true love! So she didn't love him back, that didn't stop him. He's the muther-fudgin leader of the dragon army, biznatches!

Okay, got a little nostalgic for a moment. I really wish I could have finished that story line. It was 3 books long so far, and I devoted the first 3 years of high school to it, before I got into Harry Potter fan fiction, then other fan fiction, and pretty much abandoned it all together. I definately think that I might resurrect the land of Hewitt, after I'm done with school and whatnot, just like I resurrected Give Me Wings.

Oh give me wings, that I may fly//strong wings to soar across the sky//swift wings to reach great heights above//sure wings to take me home again.

Or something like that. No, I did not make that up. That was a song that we sang in choir at the time I was obsessed with my Lord Pyro, and little Shii dreamed of having wings of her own so that she could fly. Anyway, that was the kicker of inspiring me to writing Give Me Wings in the first place. I actually really like the newly revised version. Shii isn't some little hopeless girl, but she still chases after Pyro like she is the little girl she was originally. Of course I've planned some defenseless Shii scenes with Tenshi coming to her rescue (Fireflight's Forever, I have to thank for that sudden pairing twist.).

That's right. I paired Shii and Tenshi, though they weren't supposed to end up together.

Well, I think I've typed enough for now. My keyboard is friggin loud and everyone is sleeping. I actually got the kids to bed and asleep before 9 tonight! Now, hopefully they stay asleep so that when I finally fall asleep, I don't wake up in the middle of the night. Of course, being on the PMS thing, that happens anyway, but I'd rather it be because of that and not the kids.

I miss my honey! =(

Yuzuha Ougi

I just love this woman! She's the mangaka of the more racey yaoi, like Brothers, and this new one that I just started called Star na Koi. I really shouldn't be starting a new yaoi right now...it is, after all, 3 in the morning! And I'm freezing! And I'm tired! Guh, what do I expect from reading these yaois this late? That I'll have another lovely dream like I did last night?

Yeah, I had a lovely dream involving my Gray and Natsu pairing. ~Drooool~ Anyway, back to the topic at hand...

I love this woman. She can write just regular manga and I'd love her!

Okay...take a break...I think one of my kids just farted, and, no joke, it scared the crap outta me! Like, it's 3 am, it's silent except for the sound my typing, and suddenly -PTOOOOT- X_X Yeah, scared the living hell outta me.

Okay, what was I saying? Oh yeah...Yuzuha Ougi! She's so funny, and cute. Every time I read one of her author's notes about something, I always just wanna grab her and pinch her cheeks or something. I'm looking up all her works right now. Yeah, she's my new favorite yaoi mangaka...okay, not so new, she's been a favorite since forever ago when I first read Brother and Rising Storm!

New Favorites

So, a few things have been happening these last few days that I haven't been typing. I've been busy reading yaoi/manga/fanfiction, and I've realized a few things to add to my favorites list. I haven't put a favorites list anywhere, so I'm going to put it here! I'm not quite sure what to put, but I'm just going to throw in the newest things, and as my love of things grow, so will this list!

First off, let me start with anime/manga/yaoi and stuff.

Manga:


Shoujo:
Fruits Basket
Special A
Hana Kimi
Hoshi Wa Utau

Shonen:
Until Death Do Us Part
Btooom!
Fairy Tail

Yaoi:
Can't Help Getting Hurt
Gravitation

Pairings (all!):
FT-
Natsu/Lucy
Natsu/Gray
Lucy/Erza

UDDUP-
Mamoru/Haruka
Igawa/Anybody...this guy just needs some luvin <3

Batman/Joker (new! as of...last night new!)


Okay, so far that's pretty much all I can come up with right now. Honestly, within the last few days, I've been reading UDDUP and Batman fiction, and Batman/Joker is a new pairing that I'm all googoo over. I mean, like, how messed up is that? As a slash pairing, this one is the most whacked....I love it! It's not an awesome pairing unless there's some sort of psychological messed up shit going on...right? Am I right?

Oh, so Travis just bought Street Fighter x Tekken, and he's been forcing me to play it. I'm not one for fighting games, coz I'm not really good at it. I've gotten a few characters that I'm into, but they're girls, and, according to Travis, kinda dumb. Nina, Xiaoyu, and Juri. Now, I know Juri isn't a cat, nor does she act like one or anything, but when I first saw her, with her belt and her hair, I thought she was a cat...so I call her catgirl. Travis makes fun of me for saying it, but I don't care.

Anyway, I got life calling me, so I must stop for now.

Planning...

So, my friends just popped up this morning, asking if I wanted in on this Oregon trip they're planning. Our friend Ashleigh lives there, and I guess Laura has been planning on going up there for a visit, and they asked me if I wanted to join in. Of course I do! If Travis gets to go to Long Beach, then I want to go to Portland! By myself!


NO KIDS!!!!

Ahhhh I can't wait. Only problem is money, obviously. Hopefully the end of April will be enough time for me to raise something up. I really need a job, or some source of income. The best part is Travis's support. Like, he's usually all pissy when I say that I want to go out and hang out with people for the night, and this trip is going to be longer than a night.

So, it's been getting harder and harder to title these things....Like, should I just put up "Lately..again...again..."? Nah, see? That's too lame! So, I've passed on titling posts that really have no need for one.

So, starting with the manga/anime world! I've been reading Special A. Really into it! No, it's not yaoi, and no, there is no nudity! I haven't read something like this since...Good lord...Fruits Basket? Hana Kimi? Aaaannnndddd....Hoshi wa Utau (Which I really need to find more of!!!!). Like, seriously, I've tried all those other shoujo, non nudity manga, and they just don't do it for me...but the three that I listed just now and Special A are all my favorites! I got so excited when I saw that there is an anime of it too...and the last time I got excited over a manga becoming an anime was Fairy Tail. Hana Kimi doesn't count, because that is a drama, not an anime, but I freaking freaked when I found out that there was a TV thing on it.

Hm, something else going on...I managed to piss off some guy that I never met before, while texting. In my defense, it wasn't my fault! I was getting texted by my school counselor, or whatever she is, and suddenly this other guy from the school texts me, and we get to talking, and he asks why I haven't started school yet, and I told him that I can't because of financial aid, and he's like "you don't qualify?! What about grants?!" And I'm like, "Uhm, I didn't know about grants....they just told me about the financial aid." And he says "but financial aid is something you pay back. I'm surprised they didn't bring up the grants!!!"

Okay, so he didn't use the punctuation, he only used periods, but I could tell he was pissed. I have an interview with him tomorrow to talk about my schooling. I really want to go, and, yes, it was the financial aid that was holding me back. Sandra texted me today saying that I can reapply in April to start school at the end of May, which is okay, because I was planning on doing that in first place. I though that was what I was going into the interview for, so I have no idea what to expect at the interview tomorrow with Danny.

Yeah, his name is Danny. It's weird, whenever I hear that name I think about Danny Zuko from Grease. I know that he's going to be some old guy, but wouldn't it be awesome if he was like, all youngish and hippish like Grease!Danny? Ah ha, my lovely romantasized mind.

Well, because of this interview, I won't get a chance to update this week, maybe, so I'll get kicking on updating my two stories that I have to update, and, hopefully be able to get them updated tonight. If not, then on Sunday. But, once I stop typing here, I'm going to start writing...er, typing.

God, I'm so excited. I can't wait to finally start school! That way I won't have to rely on stupid Pizza Hut! Yeah, I applied there the other day, right after the last post saying that I need to find a job. My goodness, if I start school, I'll be spending a lot of time at my mom and dad's homes. There's no way I'm driving to and from Reno every damn day Mon-Thurs, and most likely Friday for the free study period as well. Hm, well, knowing me, I'll be on my way to study on Friday, and end up taking a detour and go sulk in the parking lot of the mall or something.

That's what I don't get about myself. I mean, I know that some things are important, yet I don't do it. I knew that going to my friend's engagement party was important, but I drove to Borders and chilled there for three hours, then bought little wedding bubbles at the dollar store to convince Travis that I actually went. And then the passed few months, Sandra has been trying to get a hold of me, and every time I knew that I had to answer the calls, I never did. I'm only nervous about them asking me about that tomorrow. What do I say? I'm sorry that I saw that it was you calling, but I just ignored it? I don't know!

Well, I'm getting tired, so if I have any hope of getting any typing done, it's going to be now...

Woke up, and saw that it's freaking snowing! And it's still snowing! I'm so cold, even inside the house! Then again, our house has so many holes in it that it's really not surprising that it's so cold.

Anyway, got some views with my Erza/Lucy fic. There are a few people who are confused about the pairing, but I should tell you all that it's okay! It's Erza and Lucy! It's named after that song, because they don't actually fall in love, but they do it....IT....o-o

So I've managed to take over my computer today, so I'm hoping to get some more writing done. I've been actually writing out my story ideas in my notebook. It made me get all nostalgic and stuff, having not actually written anything in a notebook since school.

Ugh, speaking of school...I need a job! D: Turns out you can't make a profit off of fanfiction. Well, not unless you have the connections, and the permission for most of these stories. Ya know, I saw the list of authors who don't approve of their stories being written in fanfiction, and I wonder why. I mean, I would be honored that people want to write fics about my stories! I'd be freakin stoked if someone took Kai and Akito and paired them, or Pyro and Tenshi. Dude, how amazing would that be?

So, I'm here to publicly announce that I give permission for people to write fics about my stories! Just don't actually claim them as your own, because then I'll get really Amazonian bitch on your ass. =)

Oh yeah, back to my first thought...I need a job. We're kinda suffering here...well, I am anyway. I hate people...I hate kids...I think, in order for me to love my family again would be for me to spend some time away from them, and I'm not talking about once every now and again...every freakin day, for about 4 or 5 hours would be nice...maybe even more. I wouldn't mind working full time.

Like, seriously, I need to learn how to love my family again. I've been having thoughts about getting away. I know I've mentioned that I wanted to live alone, and I could totally see myself living by myself, just working, writing, xboxing, movie watching, yaoi reading...just me things! I can't do me things with all these other people around. So, I've been thinking that maybe I should get a job and spend a few hours away from my family each day. Isn't that how the saying goes? Being apart makes the heart grow fonder, or whatever?

Well, here's hoping that that I get a job soon. I've been filling out applications like crazy.

Lately...again...

So, guess who's back? Yep, I get a chance to be on my computer early in the morning, and not enough time to write out more chapters, or finish my one shots...I do still have my notebook, though, and I've written another Skyrim fic about my character and Hadvar. It's a quickie, welcome back to Riverwood now let's do it, sort of story. I had to change the name, because Ai isn't really a Skyrim name.

I'm so happy about all the publicity chapter 5 of Magic is still getting. I knew everyone would like Gray kissing Natsu, but I didn't anticipate all the favorites and alerts! And, so far, this chapter has gotten more reviews than the previous 4 chapters. Makes me so giddy and I want to update 6 so bad!

Too bad I don't have enough time on my computer to do this. I will, though. Maybe I'll do it tonight. Put the XBox controller down long enough to type out chapter 6. I'll spend today mapping it out, and then I'll start typing.

It's been too long since the Dark Brotherhood quests that I'm starting to forget the important details for Whispers in the Night. I was really excited about getting this story out, but it's been a long time since I started writing it, and I'm only in chapter 2, introducing Lucien the ghost. Maybe when I finally bring him out I'll be able to write it out quicker.

I really like Lucien the ghost! He's so dark and funny that I honestly can't wait until I start typing out the story after he shows up. I thought I'd like the story after bringing in Cicero, but I kinda just introduced him and kicked him out in two paragraphs. I know that he'll be in the story longer later on, but I feel kinda bad for him. For Lucien, now that I think about it, I have to go play on Shani some more and copy down what he says.

"Let's go out and find a random person to kill. Practice makes perfect." <3

Yuri?

So, I'm actually writing my Erza/Lucy story, and it came to me that I don't really know how girls do it....Well, I'm not stupid, I have a pretty good idea, but I guess I'm confused about the mechanics...or something. Anyway, I decided to read one, and I'm a little overwhelmed by all the nudity. I'm sure that not all of them are like that, and I'm used to seeing naked women in manga, I mean, come one, they're everywhere! But, I don't know. I guess it's cuz I'm not really into that whole lesbian thing, I'm not really into this.

But I'm not going to say "Oh well!" to my story, either! It's like, perfect! And wanna know the inspiration? Freakin Katy Perry and her kissing a girl song. I like that song! So, I came up with a story for it.

On a side note, I'm bedridden because of some pretty painful cramps, so I'm taking advantage of that and writing. So, I hope to get some updates up soon.

Draugr in the shadows...

So, I'm starting to think that playing Skyrim by myself right now is not the best of ideas. Despite my music and yaoi still open, and the occasional breaks to write in my new fic, I still see draugr in the darkness. D: Outside, I could have sworn there was one walking around! I have never been so terrified to play this game before! It's all Travis' fault! How dare he leave me alone for a night!

Oh damn, and I was thinking of having a Ghost Adventures night?! If I'm getting jumpy over a video game, just imagine how I'd be like if I were watching that show in the dark. D: Bad idea! Maybe I should turn on Dora or something...the girls were watching it earlier, and so I wouldn't have to get up to change anything. x_x

Stupid me for accepting this quest. D: Why oh why do I need gold so badly?!

Oh yeah, smithing. =)Almost 100 already. Go me. =3 I'm still scared, though.

Semi-Freedom!

So, Travis decided to go off to Reno for the night, and I don't have to go get him until tomorrow night. Which means that I get my computer back! I'm planning on updating, or at least writing in chapter 5 of Magic. If I don't update today, I'll update tomorrow. I have all night to myself, and it's Friday night, so I don't have to be awake tomorrow morning for any reason, and I get the bed all to myself, so I won't wake up in the middle of the night if the girls want to come sleep with me.

I'm not going to bed until 4 in the morning! Skyrim and fics, yay. I'm not quite sure what else to post, I'm just stoked about no man tonight. I'm going to read 5 different yaoi, then write in Magic, because by then I'll be inspired again, and then play Skyrim. Yus. So, look forward to an update either tonight or tomorrow. =)

B.S.

So, lately, because his sound on his computer doesn't work, Trav has been using my computer. I wouldn't mind it so much, except that he uses his computer and my computer at the same time. Apparently some website he goes to won't work unless the computer has sound, and since mine does, I've been letting him use it some.

Except now he's managed to monopolize my computer from me. I've had it for about a full 30 minutes in the last few days. Just enough for me to finish chapter 4 of Magic, write more in my Skyrim fic, and do some other minor things. It's terrible how he gets so pissed off when I ask if I can use MY computer.

He starts to accuse me, asking what exactly I'm going to do. Oh, I don't know, check my email, see what's going on on Facebook, little things, jack ass. Give me my damn computer! So, even after I promised not to take 3 weeks on chapter 5, it might just happen if things keep going on like this.

Then again, if I complain too much he might suggest we switch computers. Like Hell, I used my sister powers to get this computer, and he's not going to just take it from me and give me the crappy one! I've got too many things on this computer that I'd like to keep, and I don't want a computer that's probably going to die in the next few months.

And he sits there and accuses me of being on my computer too much...How can I be on the computer too much if I don't have it? He's just selfish like that. I've been thinking lately, when I heard this question on TV the other day...Where do you see yourself in this many years? How do you want to live your life?

Well, I've always wanted to live alone, and I still do! I don't want to cater to kids and a husband for all my life. I want a simple, peaceful life. Just me and my cat! No noisy kids, demanding man, nothing! That's what I want. Huuhhhh <- me sighing.